Day 35,The Judgment!…
So I was very busy for a couple weeks ,mainly with my job and performance on the flamenco show.What I experience was a point were I lost myself with all kind of judgment towards my dancing during practice ,I saw how I lost the joy of dancing ,were I felt such a pressure of performing well ….that I lost the point which was fun of dancing -thats why I started in the first place , and start existing only from a perspective of comparison . And is obvious that as we learn something new, we need to see someone else doing things ,before we apply ,but mostly the time (it is my experience ) were I totally stuck with comparison to the teacher or someone who know more or better .This is were the problem begin ,were I lose totally objective points ,points ,which exist ,before I decide to learn something new .
And during the process I become almost possessed in idea, to do well , and because of this I just missed the real life enjoyment ,the real experience of my body movements ,just being stuck in my mind .Within this just want to write some self forgiveness points:
1.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to live in constant comparison my live ,my way of leaving to others.
2.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to be stuck in my mind with comparison of my body movement to others ,which is so ridicules ,yes we learn the same movements -steps ,but each person has different flexibility ,building of muscles ,different age ,different ability of expressing thru body movements.
3.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself be the first one ,who thru the stone of judgment towards me ,and obvious towards
others ,were i lose common sense to not to see what is real .
4.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to lose the joy of dancing only ,because of wanting to perform great ,and because of feeding this desire ,lose the simplicity and joy of moving my body.
5. I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to judge my body ,movements ,to not see how unconditional my body is supporting me all the time .
6.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to lose the point why did I start dancing in the first place ,which was joy ,joy of expression ,joy of movement .
7.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to create such a point of separation of me from dancing ,from others ladies ,from teacher ,were I can only see the competition,which is totally false .
8.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself existing in physical reality in mind ,were I create my living in my mind ,instead in physical reality.
9.I commit myself to slow down ,to start breathing ,to start being aware of my movements in physicality .
10.I commit myself to stop judgment towards my body a minute I
see this in my mind.
11.I commit myself to keep dancing , to express myself thru physical movements in dancing.
